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Style Invitational Week 1487: Colt following — it’s the grandfoals

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As The Style Invitational does every year with the results of our horse name “breeding” contest, we sign those pun-soaked foals right up for some, um, playdates — wordplaydates. This week: “Breed” any two of the “foal” names included in today’s results (including the intro) and give the “grandfoal” a name that reflects both names. (An alphabetized list appears at the bottom of this column.) Just as with the Week 1483 contest for this year’s Triple Crown nominees, a name may not exceed 18 characters including spaces, but those characters may include punctuation and numerals. You may run words together to save space, but the name should be easy to read. Please write entries in the A x B = C format of today’s inking entries, and note the easy but essential formatting instructions on this week’s entry form (also in The Style Conversational).

Submit up to 25 entries at (no capitals in the Web address). Deadline is Monday, May 16; results appear June 5 in print, June 2 online.

Winner gets the Clowning Achievement, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives another cute plush version of a terrible scourge — no, not a stuffed Vladimir Putin but a cuddly Flesh-Eating Disease, a.k.a. Streptococcus pyogenes, “1,000,000x+ actual size.” It even has a little glittery knife and fork sewn on; those and perhaps the cute googly eyes are not biologically authentic. Donated by Dave Prevar.

Other runners-up win their choice of our “For Best Results, Pour Into Top End” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “A Small Jester of Appreciation” or “Close, but Ceci N’est Pas un Cigare.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at The headline “Talk Derby to Me” is by Marni Penning Coleman; Craig Dykstra wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at; “like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at; and follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.

The Style Conversational: The Empress’s weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. See this week’s, published late Thursday, May 5, at

Talk Derby to me: This year’s inking foal names

As she is every year to her delight if not much free time, in Week 1483 the Empress was deluged with clever (and some not-so-clever) “foal” names that reflect two “parent” names from a list of 100 horses nominated for this year’s Triple Crown races. Among the 3,500 entries from more than 300 entrants were funny but too frequent ones like Seventh Letter x Dean’s List = G Whiz, or Absolute Ruler x Overrule = Veto Corleone, or Gunfighter x Miss Everything = Dead Gunfighter. See this week’s Style Conversational (published late Thursday, May 5) for various plays on Grantham — Downton Grabby, Downton Flabby, Downton Crabby, etc. And be inspired to breed some “grandfoals.”

Volcanic x Cant Be Doin That = Erupt to No Good (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

Smarten Up x Simplification = Dumben Down (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

and the Poo-Dough mold set:

Bloodline x Dean’s List = IV League (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)

And the winner of the Clowning Achievement:

Absolute Ruler x We the People = I the People (John O’Byrne, Dublin, Ireland)

Inexacta: Honorable mentions

Smile Happy x Money Supply = Resting Rich Face (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.)

Absolute Ruler x Courvoisier = Genghis Cognac (Coleman Glenn, Huntingdon Valley, Pa.)

Clapton x American Icon = Am Eric, An Icon (Eric Nelkin, Silver Spring, Md.)

American Icon x Strobe = Abe Blinkin’ (Dave Zarrow, Reston, Va.)

Enough Already x Apprehend = Give It Arrest (Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif.; Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

Make It Big x Apprehend = Super Seize Me (Deb Stewart, Damascus, Md.)

Octane x Apprehend = No-Knock Warrant (Mia Wyatt, Ellicott City, Md.)

Bargaining Power x Top Secret = AFL-CIA (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)

Trademark x Shake Em Loose = Trad _ _ ark (Pie Snelson, Silver Spring, Md.; Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

Major General x Boise = M*A*S*H Potatoes (Bruce Carlson, Alexandria, Va.)

Bye Bye Bobby x Enough Already = Fischer Cut Bait (Malcolm Fleschner)

Courvoisier x Rhetoric = Con Yak (Drew Bennett, Rogers, Ark.)

Doppelganger x Major General = The Very Model! (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Nabokov x Doppelganger = Vladimirror (Laurie Brink, Mineola, N.Y.)

Iron Works x Overrule = Stop the Steel (Richard Wexler, Alexandria, Va.)

Summer Is Tomorrow x Smarten Up = Finals Are Today (Samuel Aaron, Wethersfield, Conn.)

Summer Is Tomorrow x Electability = Smear Is Tomorrow (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)

Money Supply x Enough Already = Says Nobody (Ann Martin, Brentwood, Md.)

Seventh Letter x Enough Already = Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: (Laurie Brink)

Un Ojo x Enthrallment = The One Eye Love (Craig Dykstra)

Volcanic x Enthrallment = Lava First Sight (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

Grantham x On Thin Ice = Downturn Abbey (Sarah Walsh, Rockville)

Gunfighter x Smarten Up = Why a Derp? (J.D. Berry, Springfield)

Kerouac x Messier = All Over the Road (Coleman Glenn)

Miss Everything x Mugged = Missing Everything (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

Mr White x Summer Is Tomorrow = Mr Red (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)

Peaceful Waters x Unraptured = Lake Flaccid (Chuck Helwig, Centreville, Va.; Steve Smith, Potomac, Md.)

Presidential x Trademark = Let’s Go Brandin’ (Dave Matuskey, Sacramento)

We the People x Slim Man = The Wee People (Coleman Glenn)

We the People x Un Ojo = The Wee Peephole (Frank Mann, Washington)

Volcanic x Strike Hard = Whackatoa (Chuck Helwig)

Make It Big x Epicenter = Girthquake (Frank Mann)

Happy Jack x Money Supply = Nicholson Dimes (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

Barber Road x Smile Happy = Snippitydoodah (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)

Smile Happy x Charge It = Mona Visa (Laurie Brink)

Rockefeller x Smile Happy = Die Happy (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Flying Drummer x Messier = Diapercussion (Ben Aronin, Washington)

Tiz the Bomb x Messier = Atom and Heave (Beverley Sharp)

Messier x Wharton = Pig Penn (Steve Glomb, Alexandria, Va.)

Barber Road x Crown Pride = Hair to the Throne (Larry Passar, Reston, Va.)

Echo Zulu x Crown Pride = Zulu Zulu Top (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

American Icon x Barber Road = Stars and Strops (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

Barber Road x American Icon = ShavingPrivateRyan (Mark Raffman)

Barber Road x Hopper = Sweeney Toad (Laurie Brink; Rob Wolf)

Barber Road x Seventh Letter = Hair on a G String (Jonathan Paul)

White Abarrio x Mr White = Into the Hoods (Gina Smith, Leesburg, Ind.)

Slim Man x Tiz the Bomb = Fat Man (Jeff Lubbers, Takoma Park, Md.)

Witty x Peaceful Waters = Oscar Milde (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.)

Cyberknife x Bureau = Sharp Dresser (Joanne Free, Clifton, Va.; Jeff Hazle, San Antonio)

Simplification x Cyberknife = Occam’s Laser (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)

Simplification x Bletchley Park = Decoder Ring (Steve Langer, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Causeway x Make It Big = Via Gra (Angus Walker, London)

Absolute Ruler x Tawny Port = AlexanderTheGrape (Tim Watts, Great Falls, Va.)

Tawny Port x Enough Already = Wine and Jeez (Malcolm Fleschner)

Apprehend x Zozos = Catch Some Z’s (Bill Dorner, Indianapolis)

Bloodline x American Icon = Heir Jordans (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

American Icon x Enthrallment = Rapt in the Flag (Jesse Frankovich)

Volcanic x American Icon = MoltenJoeDiMaggio (Steve Smith)

Apprehend x Bletchley Park = I Caught a Code (Beverley Sharp)

Cant Be Doin That x Congressman = Sure I Can (Bill Epstein, Kensington, Md., who last got Invite ink in 1994)

Kerouac x Clapton = Wanderful Tonight (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, Va.)

Wharton x Dean’s List = LiedAboutThatToo (Ken Linder, Arlington, Va.)

Be There x Dean’s List = Not a B There (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

Bloodline x Trademark = Aunt™ (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

Congressman x Bureau = Adam Schifforobe (Steve Fahey, Olney, Md.)

Congressman x Charge It = House of Cords (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, Md.)

Goin to the Show x Presidential = Wait, Mr. Lincoln! (Mary McNamara, Washington)

And Last: Win the Day x Doppelganger = CloningAchievement (Jon Gearhart)

Still running — deadline Monday night, May 9: Tell us a humorous sign of incompetence in any particular field. See

DON’T MISS AN INVITE! Sign up here to receive a once-a-week email from the Empress as soon as The Style Invitational and Style Conversational go online every Thursday, complete with links to the columns.

The foal names in this week’s results that you can use to “breed grandfoals” for Week 1487:

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